Description
The pastime of the demons and demigods-chuming the milk ocean strikes me as a metaphor for my own cre ative process The pastime describes the strife between the devotees and the demons I can compare this to my imperfect attempt to serve Krsna. Imperfect means that the devotee in me is still battling with the demon in me. Prabhupada said that in this age, the demons are almost all within our hearts. Still no one is constitutionally a demon. Everyone is a pure spirit soul.
I was rescued by Srila Prabhupada at twenty-six. Under his influence, and by the discipline of chanting Hare Krsna, I was able to give up the sinful activities of which I was immersed. Still, I continue to carry the impression of years of demoniac habits, not only from this lifetime, but from previous lives. These offenses and unwanted bad habits block my attempt to taste the nectar of the holy name and to serve Krsna selflessly.
When I write. I become aware of the battle between the devotee and the demon, between skepticism and faith. between hard heartedness and love. Therefore, the Lord's advice to the demigods on how to overcome the demons is relevart. When I write, I churn my internal milk ocean. I pray to Krsna to guide me and protect me and in the end, be pleased by whatever nectar results. Krsna has not exactly appeared in my writing to enjoy His lilas with His devotees, I am just one tiny, crippled servant who wants to serve Him by writing. My whole life is based on the principle of service to guru and Krsna. Therefore, when I serve. I have to apply my energy. Whatever passion is in me comes out. Whatever ignorance is in me comes out. Whatever goodness is in me comes out. I have faith that the transcendental nectar will also come out and that i will offer it to Krsna by Krsna's grace